Stepchildren

Cinderella was a stepdaughter.

Cinderella had a very mean stepmother.

Cinderella had a very weak father.

***It is normal and healthy that every child wish that their biodad and biomom would be married and stay married forever. 

Never let that desire frustrate you or feel guilty about it; I believe it is God-breathed. 

That doesn’t give stepchildren the right to hate a decent stepparent, but …. 

Children can be fiercely loyal to both bioparents, no matter either parent's competence or incompetence. 

I have a friend in his 80’s. The wife of his youth died of cancer some 10 years ago. 

He had 2 daughters by her. He began seeing another lady some years after her death. 

He married her. His daughters are furious… still.
This seems unreasonable, yet it is somewhat natural. 

Remarriage is proof to the daughters that their family unit has partially disintegrated, which it did when their mother died.

 
You see, when a parent dies, the family unit, in many ways, also dies. 

My dad died in 2002. My mom died in 2012. 

When my mom died, my next older sister turned to me and said, “We’re orphans now.”
Yep.

As a boy, I knew a local man, (long since deceased) who as a married man, was a town maintenance worker, with three children. 

One of the women in town set her hat on him. 

She would visit him during work hours when he was at his work, even though he was married. 

Eventually she got him.
But she never earned the acceptance of her stepchildren (and apparently didn't care). None of them attended her funeral. 

.

And... if any children perceive or suspect that the now-stepmother:
1) Aided the divorce of a parent 

2) or was involved with the remarried parent before the death of the other parent,

 
They will likely assume the stepparent hates the other parent, the former spouse, 

because good people don’t steal someone else’s spouse. 

A bioparent has to be pretty awful for a stepchild, young or adult, to like or respect a stepparent over a parent. 

It happens, but it’s rare.

 
Inheritance
This can get sticky in blended families. I have heard of horror stories out of Hollywood, 

like the Hollywood star who had 6 kids by one woman, then divorced her for another woman. 

They then adopted a girl, and when the man died, 

his 6 boys were butted-out of the will, with the 2nd wife and adopted daughter getting everything. 

That is disgusting. I'm not sorry I said it.

Biokids are often completely left out of inheritance. It makes the biokids feel completely unloved, which is completely understandable. 

Biokids have the right to feel a sense of priority over stepparents and stepsiblings and yes, even half-siblings.

I get angry when I see a stepmother expect her new husband to put her first children over his first children, no matter their ages.

I've seen it happen in real time several times, and it is very ugly.

But one thing many kids overlook, as in the story of Cinderella. 

While the stepmother was cruel, she was allowed to be cruel.

Cinderella's father was a weak man. A very weak man.

Never forget how weak Cinderella's father was.